Cars

It's funny how the littlest things can affect you.  When Gar and I were first married, every time there was a car problem, even an oil change, it usually became a crisis, simply because money was so tight.  I remember one Christmas when we thought that we couldn't go to Mom and Dad's for Christmas because we had car troubles.  Well, that year, my determined husband had me go to the auto parts store and buy a spark plug.  He went out in the garage, put the spark plug in and fixed the exhaust system with a Campbell's tomato soup can.  Obviously it was pre-computerized everything on a car, and we made it to Mom and Dad's for Christmas.  My folks were pretty impressed with my husband then!  The longer we were married, and as finances became a little easier, trips to the shop became easier.  I became more confident in myself, and rarely needed to call for Gar's advice or approval, it was mostly to keep him informed.    Today I brought the car to Kia for a recurring problem, and it turned out to be a pretty expensive repair, not covered by our warranty.  I was reduced to to tears.  I knew it had to be done, and there was enough money, barely, to cover it, but I cried.  I think what I missed most of all was just that Gar wasn't there to call or commiserate with me, I had to do it on my own.  It had me depressed for quite a while today.  Our marriage was one of shared decision making and everything else.  It was truly a partnership.  So now, I have to stand on my own and make those decisions, small and large, on my own.  So I stop, pray, thank God for 30 years with Gar, make my decision and move forward.  It will be different, but I am confident that God will be there, and Gar will be there in spirit.