Solo Road Trip

So here I am in Nashville, Music City.  Sitting in in my hotel room, settled in for any evening of "Chopped" marathon on the Food channel.  Trying not to feel sorry for myself.  This will be an interesting weekend, challenging for me.  Gar and I have come to these meetings together for years.  Usually we go to the meetings and then either sit around the hotel or do some sightseeing.  No sense in going to the bar, as I don't drink and don't really like hanging around in bars.  The people at the meetings all know Gar, but there's not too many of them that we used to hang around with, so here I am.  I thought about going to downtown Nashville, but didn't really want to do that all alone, maybe during the day, but not at night.  It is something that I am going to need to get used to, and I will, just not ready to tackle it tonight.  Luckily for me, I've never had a problem in going into a restaurant alone.  Thank goodness for my Kindle.

The drive down was uneventful.  I have decided that music is salvation.  I love music, love the textures, shadings, melodies and harmonies that all go into any piece of music.  I actually have a sore throat from singing along.  Shed a few tears, prayed, talked to myself and did a lot of driving.  Thank goodness I am used to driving for long stretches at a time, just missed my travelling partner.  Usually after a day like this, Gar and I would have the problems of the world solved, we loved to sit and talk while I was driving.  But it was okay yesterday and today.  It really didn't bother me that much.  Lots of memories to keep me company.  Gar and I have driven this route together a few times, so there were memories there.  I don't think that I'll ever be totally alone while I'm driving, as memories are really good company, and Gar and I created many of them together.

So, the tough part is being here alone, learning what to do.  The tournament this summer will be different, I should be surround by friends and family.  But there will always be weekends like this one.  I will persevere, and hopefully will even gracefully conquer.  I have never been a chicken, and I have never backed down, so I can do this.  Hopefully I will even have some fun along the way.  I will also need to learn to ask people if I want to be included.  What I do know is that I am really never alone, God is with me and Gar is with me.  So I stop, thank God for thirty wonderful years with Gar, then I move on.