Life, it's everywhere

So many random thoughts running around in my head, I thought I'd try to capture some.  In two weeks, it will be nine months since Gar died.  The first six dragged so slow and the last three have really flown by.  Nine months is gestation time in humans, so let's see what has gestated in the last nine months in my fertile mind.

First of all I have learned that grief is everything they say it is, and it rarely goes away.  It's always there waiting to upset your day in one of it's many manifestations.  But grief is not as bad as everyone thinks it is.  It forces you to confront basic feelings that need to be dealt with .  In the first few days and weeks after Gar died,  I learned that the sharpness of the pain reminds you that even though the person you loved so deeply is dead, you are still alive.  But for me the best part of grief, yes there is a best part, is that it forces me to reach out to God in order to move on.  I don't know how people make it through the grieving process without God.  God loves us and carries us.  A few weeks ago, Pastor Brian reminded us in his sermon that Jesus wept.  Jesus has experienced the loss of loved ones and knows our pain.  That helps in the healing, but because when the pain is too great, I know that I can turn it over to God.  There is also the knowing that Gar is with God and that we will be together one day.

Another thing that has happened is that I am more sharply aware of how death affects people.  When I hear on the news of people dying suddenly, I often stop what I'm doing a say a prayer for the family.  I had never experienced an extremely sudden death like Gar's, and now I know what a different pain that is, but either way it doesn't matter.  Someone has still lost a loved one.  I have a friend whose husband has terminal cancer.  I hurt for both of them and pray daily for both of them.  I follow them in his Caring Bridge site, and their faith and trust in God is amazing.  They are also truly living out the saying that cancer is the long good-bye. I pray that I can be there for her and she reaches out for me when the time comes.  Now is when they need to be together as they are.  I also learned yesterday that some cancer has recurred in a high school classmate.  I hurt for her, her husband, her children and her friends, and I pray that they are able to stop it again.  Yet another friend of mine is coming up on the year anniversary of her husband's death.  I know that she misses him every day, and I pray that she will be strengthened in his love, God's love, the love of her family and the love of her friends.

The last thing that I am sharing today is how I am learning to live each day.  This week is Holy Week, and we are looking at the final days of Jesus' ministry and time here on earth.  To me, this is always a reminder of the great sacrifice that Jesus made for us in order that we might live.  Therefore, we are to make to most out of each day.  No matter how great out loss is, life is still amazing.  For me, a lot of the joy and fun is returning to life, and I really enjoy that.  Gar may be gone, but I am still surrounded by my children, grandchildren and friends, and for that I give thanks.  God is good, all the time.